BREAKING: I Am Now A Conservative Democrat

by: Chris Bowers

Mon Jun 22, 2009 at 15:30

After several years of trying to "retake" the Democratic Party and make it more progressive, today I am giving up and becoming a conservative Democrat. Upon careful consideration, the benefits packages are simply too heavily tilted toward the corporate wing of the party. Check it out:

It would be pretty sweet to be able to endorse someone other than a Democrat for President, and then have the Democratic leadership do whatever it takes to keep me in the Party. I mean, if you do this as a progressive, then you are pretty much screwed for life.
Being a conservative Democrats gets you ten times the media mentions that one gets being a progressive. You chances of appearing on Sunday talk shows also skyrockets.
Being a conservative Democrat gets you more money, too. You can proclaim that you are a conservative Democrat, and still have small, progressive, grassroots donors be by far your top contributors. Hard to argue with receiving both enormous big dollar fundraisers held in your honor and huge amounts of money from small progressive donors. So really, who cares if bloggers complain about you. Their readers are still going to fork over huge amounts of money.
If you are a conservative Democrat, you get to hold up, water down, and threaten whatever Democratic legislation you want. And there are no repercussions. In fact...
If you are a conservative Democrat, you get frequent meetings with the President and proclamations that he is one of your own. If you are a progressive, you have to stand at the back of the line, and then get threats about never hearing from the White House again if you step out of line.
Further, if you are a conservative Democrat, you can also refuse to pay your Democratic Party Committee dues, and still receive disproportionate expenditures from Democratic Party Committees. That is just a straight up good deal.
Being a conservative Democrat also makes you far more likely to receive a major cabinet appointment. Not even counting the Republicans, New Democrats outnumber Progressives in President Obama's cabinet by 7-1.
Finally, if one of those crazy progressives decides to challenge you in a primary campaign, if you are a conservative Democrat you can also count on the endorsements of 95% of your congressional colleagues, the entire party leadership, and virtually every progressive advocacy organization. They will stand by you.

So really, why would anyone be a progressive Democrat given the different bonus packages that are on offer? I think my move makes a lot of sense. Every Democrat should be a conservative.

Chris Bowers :: BREAKING: I Am Now A Conservative Democrat

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BREAKING: I Am Now A Conservative Democrat | 12 comments

The biggest drawback to becoming a Conservative Democrat (4.00 / 7)

that I can see, anyway, is doesn't that mean you have to hang out with other Conservative Democrats?

Ugh.

Montani semper liberi

by: Sadie Baker @ Mon Jun 22, 2009 at 14:56:09 PM CDT

by: you @ soon

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no, it's OK (4.00 / 2)

you can be an iconoclast.

not everything worth doing is profitable. not everything profitable is worth doing.

by: tatere @ Mon Jun 22, 2009 at 16:04:48 PM CDT

[ Parent ]

Chris hang out with those pussies? (0.00 / 0)

I think we'd all take up a collection to have him euthanized before we'd ever let that happen.

Nationalism is not the same thing as terrorism, and an adversary is not the same thing as an enemy.

by: worldlymother @ Mon Jun 22, 2009 at 21:42:10 PM CDT

[ Parent ]

Great point! (4.00 / 6)

I am also now a conservative Democrat! Furthermore, I accept paypal!

by: TValley @ Mon Jun 22, 2009 at 16:48:03 PM CDT

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Gee, Chris, you're late to figure this out! (0.00 / 0)

A bunch of the smarter Repugs have been masquerading for yours--Ben Nelson, for example!

by: Doc Rock @ Mon Jun 22, 2009 at 18:46:21 PM CDT

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Does this mean we get to primary them from the right now? (4.00 / 1)

I'm looking forward to turfing Michael Bennet out of office on the grounds that his opposition to EFCA renders him too much of a McGovernite hippie.

Forgotten Countries - a foreign policy-focused blog

by: Englishlefty @ Mon Jun 22, 2009 at 20:36:35 PM CDT

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ha! (4.00 / 4)

funny...and sad at the same time.

That said, new infrastructure is being built to fix this...

by: AdamGreen @ Mon Jun 22, 2009 at 22:52:56 PM CDT

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what new infrastructure? (0.00 / 0)

Please elaborate.
Bowers' comments are in the category of "sad but true". My follow-up question is "how do we fix this?"
So, if you and/or Chris can explain how to fix this, I will do what I can to help.

1 Corinthians 13:1 (KJV) - "Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal."/ GOP = Greedy Old Privatizers or Greedy Old Privateers?

by: Christian_Dem_NY @ Fri Jun 26, 2009 at 07:01:47 AM CDT

[ Parent ]

it's always more profitable to sell out (0.00 / 0)

than to do something constructive. No surprise that the Democrats who sell out are making out so much better than those who don't.

I say go for it! You'll get a nicer office and the doorman at your plush Washington hotel will smile and fawn and rush to open the door instead of frowning and holding his hand out for a bigger tip. Just try it!

by: limpidglass @ Tue Jun 23, 2009 at 03:32:18 AM CDT

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The initial goal: (4.00 / 1)

"[...] several years of trying to "retake" the Democratic Party and make it more progressive [....]"

... was pretty much doomed when the Netroots failed to generate a 360 degree s*** storm every time BHO ran Harry and Louise. All of the kabuki theater since and for the duration is now fate. The magnitude of the Joe problem is merely an artifact of the bipartisan BS many so-called progressives bought into a year and a half ago.

Adoption of the marketing campaign to put the partisan conflicts of the '90s behind us was a willful decision to screw the members of our society who have to be defended in order to do, what? Fell good about voting for a cool frat boy with few discernible policies or principles?

Lieberman, like the public option debate is a deception from the reality that voters are not part of this inside game, and that the insiders have one of their guys at the helm.

I have to ask, a year and a half ago, when Goldman Sachs and the rest of Wall Street picked a kid from out of town over either of the major NY candidates, why didn't we sound the klaxons and chase corruption's candidate back to Chicago?

Heckofajob, Netroots.

by: Pacific John @ Tue Jun 23, 2009 at 12:55:41 PM CDT

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I'm happier being a Progressive. (0.00 / 0)