I Am Vaguely Calling You Out

by: Chris Bowers

Tue Aug 18, 2009 at 15:26


This is a message for all you Chicken Littles, you handwringers, you wannabe strategists, you people who have suggestions or doubts: I am vaguely calling you out.

Who you are is not really important. Why I am vaguely calling you out is also not important. In fact, it is better that both "you," and what you are doing, are never really defined. This has three advantages:

  1. First, it's easy. As long as both you and your actions stay open-ended and amorphous, you can potentially be as many people I don't like as possible without actually being anyone at all. This way, I win a huge argument with a lot of people, without actually engaging in an argument with anyone at all.

  2. Second, it allows as many people as possible to identify with me calling you out. Everyone is angry at something someone wrote on the Internets, so the emotional need to call someone out on the Internets is widespread. When someone reads and recommends this diary, they can also join in the pleasure of vaguely calling someone out for doing something. Now, I have a following.

  3. Third, it prevents me from ever having to justify my calling you out. If I was specific in who I was calling out, it is possible that their written record would contradict my vague reasons for doing so. That would suck, so I am not taking any chances. This way, I can never lose.
So yeah, I am calling you out. Whatever it is that you are doing is worse than being a Republican. Because of it, you need to be separated and quarantined from the rest of us. You words are a knife in the back of the progressive movement.

If we do lose anything, you will be entirely to blame. However, we won't lose anything, because progressives have won every single fight from the Iowa caucuses forward. We keep winning despite the dangerous, destructive, backstabbing stuff that you did. And you did it every single time.

You and your kind are everywhere. Fortunately, by vaguely calling you out, I have now stopped you from doing it again. So, I am pretty awesome. If others join me, they will have participated in that glorious triumph themselves. And if they follow me, neither I, nor they, can ever lose.

Update: I am not talking about them. How could you ever think I was talking about them? What they are doing is great. No--I am talking about you.

Update 2: Oh, for crying out loud, I am not talking about you. I was talking about them. You are the one projecting that I am criticizing you in this diary, not me. But hey, if the shoe fits...

Update 3: Thank you everyone for this productive discussion. Stay tuned for when I vaguely call more people out in my next diary. Onward to victory!
Chris Bowers :: I Am Vaguely Calling You Out

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I Am Vaguely Calling You Out | 58 comments
Me (4.00 / 5)
For the record, he talking (at least partially) about me.

See, that wasn't so hard.

He should have said so before... (4.00 / 1)
...I went stumbling around in the dark garden! Damn.
[ Parent ]
no, meeee! he was talking about meeeeee! meee! /shout out to the am crowd/ (0.00 / 0)
heh. a great diary, chris. just got around to it. funny. classical supermeta for the future, even.  
[ Parent ]
in addition to vaguely calling you out, i am also saying (4.00 / 6)
STFU.
there is some awesome third-step meta-level irony going on here, (4.00 / 3)
but my brain is too fuzzy to sort it all out...

is chris vaguely calling out those who write vague call-out diaries on daily kos?    

do i have to spell it out with a picture? (4.00 / 5)

[ Parent ]
Think so (4.00 / 4)
attack diaries without a single link--a DKos speciality.

[ Parent ]
THE ORANGE SATAN? Where's my bunch of garlic? (4.00 / 1)
Cruzifix? Stake and Hammer? Silver bullet?

VADE RETRO, SATANAS!

[ Parent ]
Ah (4.00 / 6)
I think I found the inspiration for this fine meta parody.

http://www.dailykos.com/storyo...

[ Parent ]
Lars Thorwald? The killer form "Rear Window"??? (4.00 / 3)
They really shouldn't let prisoners for life out on parole! Irresponsible!
[ Parent ]
Yes, but in fairness, he was a salesman. (4.00 / 1)
So, y'know, he understands strategy.
[ Parent ]
Well, Chris sure bought his stuff! (4.00 / 1)
A salesman, indeed. But is Thorwald like Willy Loman or more like Dwayne Hoover?
[ Parent ]
As they say when you find signs of elephant traffic (dung or "spoor") in an African gamepark (4.00 / 1)
"Well spotted!"
[ Parent ]
At least this is readable (0.00 / 0)
I couldn't make it through the first three paragraphs of that garbage, even while skimming.
[ Parent ]
And it's a sure path to Schmictory.. (4.00 / 1)
Because none of the hurdles in the path of true victory should be openly discussed, apparently.  Another DKos trait.

Being told to hide one's doubts under the rug is chicken shit.  That's how how we ended up in Iraq.  

Maybe that's why the 'moral'-over there - is low?


Nationalism is not the same thing as terrorism, and an adversary is not the same thing as an enemy.

[ Parent ]
Never meta meta I didn't like (4.00 / 2)
As Will Rogers famously did not say.

I am in earnest -- I will not equivocate -- I will not excuse -- I will not retreat a single inch -- AND I WILL BE HEARD.  
[ Parent ]
Did you mean (4.00 / 1)
to troll rate the post?
[ Parent ]
i was wondering the same thing... (4.00 / 1)

[ Parent ]
No, quite the reverse! Oopsie! (0.00 / 0)
Can I un-troll-rate?

I am in earnest -- I will not equivocate -- I will not excuse -- I will not retreat a single inch -- AND I WILL BE HEARD.  
[ Parent ]
Sure! Simply use the drop down list, and chose "none" or "4". (0.00 / 0)
Unlike the recommendation option at many media websites, for instace WaPo, OpenLeft allows you to change your mind!

Now, if we could get this feature for the QuickHit comments, too, it would be great...
Chris? Is this still on your "to do" list?

[ Parent ]
This is a fourth level of meta-irony, then (4.00 / 1)
The accidentally troll-rated comment...  

I am in earnest -- I will not equivocate -- I will not excuse -- I will not retreat a single inch -- AND I WILL BE HEARD.  
[ Parent ]
Hey, lambert! I think you shcrewed up! (4.00 / 2)
This comment isn't even vaguely trollish! Better pay attenshion, or I'll call you out!!
[ Parent ]
Even the great ones.... (4.00 / 1)
;-)

I am in earnest -- I will not equivocate -- I will not excuse -- I will not retreat a single inch -- AND I WILL BE HEARD.  
[ Parent ]
..are led into accidental errors here! :D (0.00 / 0)
But seriously, the problem is that the focus of the mouse pointer is still in the selection field, after you have chosen the rating. So, a minimal mouse move will scroll the list up and down, and this results in those frequent "aqccidents". To avoid that, make sure you click on the empty space somewhere after making your selection!

I guess this could be avoided with a small change in the program code, that would move the focus out of the list after the selection, but Chris already has too much on his "to do" list, so don't expect any changes soon...

[ Parent ]
I can never resist if someone calls me out... (4.00 / 2)
..even if it's only vaguely. Maybe a bit risky, but I guess it's because of my overcompensated inferiority complex. Also, I like "The Wanderers", you know, the movie, "come out to play!". Whatever.

So, I bravely went out into the dark garden and there was...nobody? Wtf? Now, what?

Sorry, Chris, but I somehow misunderstood your story. I better try thinning my blood with alcohol, this may improve my brain functions. Prost!

n/t (4.00 / 6)
You're clearly talking about Sarah Palin.  Why can't you people leave her alone?? :'-(
And her FAMILY! Why must everyone vaguely call out her FAMILY?!?1 (4.00 / 6)

[ Parent ]
Some say STFU but I say... (4.00 / 2)
... "Is Seven Up?"

I am in earnest -- I will not equivocate -- I will not excuse -- I will not retreat a single inch -- AND I WILL BE HEARD.  
The Magnificient Seven is always up! (4.00 / 1)
Both thumbs up!!!
[ Parent ]
Where is the update (4.00 / 5)
that thanks people for recommending this diary, and explaining how the fact that it is on the reclist is a huge win for us over them.

Chris Bowers: WRONG AGAIN! (4.00 / 5)
Proof at this link.
yeah (4.00 / 1)
more than a year and still only visa and mc options
[ Parent ]
"when I vaguely call more people out in my next diary"... (0.00 / 0)
I hope it won't be to the Mullen's Bar and Grill on Pittsburgh's North Shore! I heard it's a rather small bar. How about the Philadelphia Stadium?
So I guess this is the "You're So Vain" of blogposts (4.00 / 2)

Not exactly! (0.00 / 0)
Check the lyrics:
"You walked into the party
Like you were walking onto a yacht"
See? That guy walked IN! He wasn't called OUT.
[ Parent ]
How about "You're so Vague" instead? (4.00 / 1)
You don't even have to change the lyrics! Uh, not much.
[ Parent ]
Fabulush! (4.00 / 1)

[ Parent ]
Thanksh! And now, all togesher: "Your're So Vague (0.00 / 0)
You probably think this blog is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this blog is about you
Don't you? Don't you?"
[ Parent ]
probably? (4.00 / 2)
It IS about you

"It sounds wrong...
     ...but its right."
[ Parent ]
Sorry (0.00 / 0)
I meant "ISH" not drinking enough

"It sounds wrong...
     ...but its right."
[ Parent ]
Haven't we "walked into the party" by responding? (4.00 / 1)
It's the ambiguity of Chris' post that endows it with such provocative genius.

Really, if Mick Jagger were to read it, I'm sure he'd think it was about him too.  

Alas, such are the fruits of a hyperemotional attachment to issues defined by the vagaries of the US legislative process.  

[ Parent ]
Party on, Wobbly! (0.00 / 0)
ECSHELLENT!
[ Parent ]
Are you hip to Deven Green? (0.00 / 0)

[ Parent ]
Me hash to admit... (0.00 / 0)
..I had to look thish up. Deven Green? I inishially thought it'sh a golf course. Never heard of her here in Shermany!

But she shure looks a bit like Brüno. Shtrange!

Damn, maybe I had a bit to mush vine. Prost!

[ Parent ]
She'sh a bit shurreal and quite blue (0.00 / 0)
but her parodies of the 80's soap opera starlet Brenda Dickson's "Welcome to My Home" self-help videos are some of the funniest, most quotable things I've ever seen.  
[ Parent ]
I'll sheck her out on youtoob tomorrow! (0.00 / 0)
But now my bed ish calling me.
Shweet dreamsh!
[ Parent ]
Just click the hyperlink in the post above (0.00 / 0)

[ Parent ]
Yer so vain, you prob'ly think this diary's abouchew... (4.00 / 1)
It i had know it was about YOU, I probly wouldn't even have read it...
Thanks Chris (4.00 / 1)
I needed that!

sTiVo's rule: Just because YOU "wouldn't put it past 'em" doesn't prove that THEY did it.
I'm too old for this shit (4.00 / 7)
And you know the shit I'm talking about. I've got a limited amount of energy to devote to shit, and this shit is right out. Dealing with this shit is really trying my patience. I've got other shit I want to do, and I'm sick to death of your shit. These guys over here can't take care of their shit, so now I'm the one getting shit on as the shit keeps piling up.

Fuckin' A.

Conduct your own interview of Sarah Palin!

Aw, Jeez (4.00 / 5)
[ Parent ]
Brilliant (4.00 / 2)
According to the Myers Briggs tests about 65% of the US population are sensors and tend to doubt things.  Any generality that losely applies to 65% of the population is pretty powerful.

As for us 35%, we still doubt things but need to find reasons and tend to get hung up in analysis.  I think you hit us, too.

That's a 100%.  Pretty good with two cliches.

As for me, I went to a garden party to reminisce with some old friends.  But nobody recognized me I didn't look the same.  So even though I sang the same stale songs and posted the same stale comments it was all for naught except with this girl named Mary Lou ....

Anyway, it's all right now and I learned my lesson well. If you can't please everyone you better please Chris Bowers.  (Sorry Ricky Nelson)

Wonderful, Chris. (4.00 / 2)
So damn true.  I read that diary and commented about strawmen, thereby becoming an enemy.  (Of course, you would never talk about a specific diary.  :-)  )
I thought this was parodying WaPo op-eds blaming lefties... (4.00 / 1)
...since I've seen beaucoups of pieces in the WaPo calling out lefties, particularly those in the blogosphere, over the years.  

And they're NEVER specific about which blogs or bloggers are the problem; they just describe the online left as a seething mass of hate that's bad enough to balance out all the bad shit on the right, and then some.

If this was all about a dumb Kos diary, that would be overkill.  But I'm betting that Chris was aiming higher.

[ Parent ]
It would apply quite well to this anonymous WH official (4.00 / 1)
[ Parent ]
Impressive! (4.00 / 1)
That so many can get so much from a diary that says so little

"It sounds wrong...
     ...but its right."
Whee! (0.00 / 0)
Is Kos and OpenLeft going to have a slap fight?

Can you wait until my popcorn's ready?

Is it too late to apologize? (0.00 / 0)
I am deeply sorry, had  known how bad it was I would never...

Please just let me feel the guilt, I have never and will never be party to anything so.. Look it was a call for help really.

Now that I know what to say I will be quiet.

Change
"We must break up the banks and never again let them get so big that they distort our politics and take down the economy.

I Am Vaguely Calling You Out | 58 comments
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