Dear ex-Hillary fans who are showing their support for her by ignoring her call to support Obama and supporting McCain,
First, I'd like to congratulate you. You've asked yourself WWJMD and
you've decided to vote against your own interests and principles while
furthering Senator McCain's. Before you're allowed on the band wagon,
we are asking you to sign the following oath. A McCain presidency will
mean different things for different people, so we have tailored the
oaths accordingly.
The McCain Loyalty Oath for Gays
I, _____________, pledge to transfer my support from Hillary Clinton
to John McCain. I agree to do all I can do to get McCain the vote. In
order to achieve this noble goal I promise to support McCain's...
promise to protect "the sanctity of marriage as between a man and woman."
commitment to banning federal recognition of gay marriage and domestic partnerships.
opposition to gay adoption which he doesn't think is "appropriate."
opposition to expanding the federal hate crimes law to include sexual orientation.
As a gay person, I promise to apply McCain's principles to my own life and vow to...
stop engaging in gay sex.
never try to marry or adopt.
enroll in a program to treat my homosexuality and "straighten" myself out, such as a "M.A.N.S. Journey" (Masculinity, Authenticity, Need Fulfillment, Surrender Journey).
install nanny cams in my house to prevent any gay relapses.
Once McCain is elected, I will continue to support him and his
programs and I will not complain about my loss of civil rights. And I
will continue to refrain from gay sex.
I _____________ pledge to transfer my support from Hillary Clinton
to John McCain. I agree to do all I can do to get McCain the vote. In
order to achieve this noble goal I promise to support McCain's...
fight to overturn Roe v. Wade and my right to choose.
opposition to providing low-income and uninsured women and families
with health care services ranging from breast and cervical cancer
screening to birth control.
drink bleach so I don't catch HIV and drink Mountain due so I don't get pregnant.
give back part of my salary to male coworkers.
not vote, but pursue education and encourage my father/husband/brother male friends to vote for McCain.
Once McCain is elected, I will continue to support him and I will
not complain about my losing my right to choose, and other reproductive
freedoms. And I will continue to refrain from pursuing equality for
women.
Signature __________
The McCain Loyalty Oath for Straight White Men
Straight white men, I bet you thought we left you out. This country
may have turned its back on you, but we haven't. Here's a pledge of
your own:
I _____________ pledge to transfer my support from Hillary Clinton
to John McCain. I agree to do all I can do to get McCain the vote. In
order to achieve this noble goal I promise to support McCain's...
Once McCain is elected, I will continue to support him and I will
not complain about my loss of limbs or life. And I will continue to
refrain from questioning the war in Iraq or any other wars we will be
fighting.
Signature ________________________________
*Although McCain and Hagee have since unendorsed each other, that was not until Hagee's controversial Holocaust speech was discovered. McCain didn't think Hagee's position on gay people (or
women of Muslims, for that matter) warrant his disavowal.
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