This still needs work...
I'm sure you recall the mock schedule that was being circulated in 2004. I made a few edits, omissions, updates... but I'm sure it can be improved.
Any contributions would be appreciated.
(cross posted at KOS) http://www.dailykos.com/story/...
6:00 PM Opening Prayer, led by Pat Robertson
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46 PM "Bear hunting at the Minneapolis airport"- presented by Sen. Larry Craig
7:30 PM Blame Bill Clinton for the past 8 years
7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, and Downer Cows: It's what's for dinner
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM Lecture by John Hagee: The Homos are after your children
8:30 PM Roundtable discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
8:50 PM "Corporations: the government of the future"-presented by Grover Norquist
9:00 PM Sen. Larry Craig sings "Filthy Gorgeous"
9:05 PM John McCain naptime
9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: the real cause of forest fires
9:30 PM Health Care Policy with Mitt Romney: "Why the free market should dictate who lives and who dies."
10:00 PM "Completely Heterosexual: One Man's Journey Back in the Closet" - a Sermon by Ted Haggard
10:15 PM Lecture by Karl Rove- Doublespeak made easy
10:30 PM "The Benefits of Slavery: Work Ethic, and Christian Salvation" - presented by Pat Buchanan
10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark deer-in-headlights stare
10:40 PM Sen. David Vitter demonstrates new mandatory Kevlar chastity belt for men
10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black Republicans
10:46 PM Katrina Remembrance: How God purged the Democratic voter rolls of New Orleans in one day.
10:50 PM Milton Friedman Lecture Series: "How rolling back child labor laws can solve unskilled worker shortage."
11:10 PM Barack Obama Pinata
11:20 PM Bobby Jindal Lecture: Evolutionists: the dangerous new cult
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
11:35 PM Mark Foley meets with Young Republicans
11:40 PM Cindy McCain serves milk and "secret family recipe" cookies
11:50 PM Closing Prayer, led by Jesus Himself
12:00 AM Nomination of John McCain as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord
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