You Are At a Convention Party!

by: Matt Stoller

Mon Aug 25, 2008 at 20:56


So first, you've got to have credentials.  Here are mine, for the big tent and the Pepsi center.  They are special.  Don't lose them or you will have to beg your political contacts for more or trade for more or really just kind of hang out somewhere else at any number of parties.

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You have lost your credentials.  You must go to a party in a brick building, and there is grey carpet and people have pins on and are wearing suits and nametags.  You meet a lobbyist and ask her why she is at the convention, and she says 'I'm a lobbyist, duh.'  You move on and forget about her.  You are hungry, so you forage for food.  Here's some bad fruit you can eat.  Or not!

Democratic

Matt Stoller :: You Are At a Convention Party!

Here's something that looks like sushi from afar.  I think it has cheese in it.

Democratic

And of course there are brownies and cookies and strawberries.  Somehow they look awful, but all they are is butter and sugar and chocolate.  That's convention magic.  It's like a reverse Midas touch.

Democratic

You are done (not) eating, and feel kind of sick.  That was good day old fruit and cookies and also vegan sliders from some other weird party that the Kentucky delegation was making fun of and blaming cosmopolitan culture for.  

And here's the crowd at the party.  It's very trade show-esque.

Democratic

Did you enjoy your party?  The answer is SORT OF!

Welcome to the Democratic National Convention.


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food (0.00 / 0)
Fruit doesn't look too bad to me, but, then again, I'm a college student.

I have expertise in this subject (0.00 / 0)
Matt,

I've been a grad student for (many) years.  Trust me on this one: choose the cookies.

Stale cookies are harder to mess up than any of your other options.  They're also starchy and will fill you up until you can beg/barter your way into a hot meal.

Always choose the cookie.


Ha... (4.00 / 1)
Who doesn't love a party in a sterile-looking office environment?!?!

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