It Must Be Scary To Be A Conservative

by: Chris Bowers

Thu Jun 26, 2008 at 18:30


It must be really scary to be a conservative. To be one, you must live in constant fear of terrorists nuking the United States, of gay people on the verge of convincing you that you really enjoy sodomy, of Spanish becoming the official language of the United States next week, of every African-American voting seven or eight times in the next election, of radical Islam suddenly becoming the latest hip thing among kids across the country, of perpetual lesbian orgies in girls bathrooms in high schools across America, of liberals forcing everyone to become a vegan, of Christians being rounded up into concentration camps, and of Democrats outlawing private property if they were to ever take power again. Consider, for example, Hugh Hewitt's latest fears about the destruction of football and the United States following Obama's victory:

By the way, I -- I'm still trying to find two tickets to the Ohio State-USC game. And none of the USC people will give up their tickets to me. I'd pay fair price. They -- they know Ohio State's gonna slaughter the Trojans. They know that they're gonna slaughter the Trojans, and therefore they do not want me there at the bloodbath, since it's probably the last football game we'll ever get to see before the United States gets blown up by the Islamists under Obama. I -- I would like to see Ohio State slaughter USC. This is what I'm living for right now. I'm keeping -- all the bad news, I just focus on the Ohio State upcoming slaughter of USC.

Slaughter, slaughter, bloodbath, blown up by the Islamists, slaughter, slaughter. This strikes me as a very disturbing mind to live in. Kind of like the way Jerry Falwell's father treated his co-workers:

There were times that Dad's pranks bordered on cruelty. One of his oil-company workers, a one-legged man he nicknamed "Crip"? Smith, complained about everything. Dad and Crip's co-workers got tired of the old man's bellyaching and decided to take revenge. One morning Crip called in sick and Dad volunteered to send by lunch to his grateful but suspicious employee. Dad and his chums caught Crip's old black tomcat, killed it, skinned it, and cooked it in the kitchen of one of Dad's little restaurants. They called it squirrel meat and delivered it to Crip on a linen-covered tray. When Crip returned to work the next morning, Dad and his co-conspirators asked him how he liked his meal. They knew he would complain even about a free home-cooked lunch, and when Crip called it "the toughest squirrel meat" he had ever eaten, they were glad to tell him why.

Pretty frightening stuff. No wonder Republicans have three times as many nightmares as Democrats. Lots of scary stuff kicking around in their heads.

Chris Bowers :: It Must Be Scary To Be A Conservative

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more nightmares (4.00 / 2)
I guess that it's little wonder that people who are easily frightened are more susceptible to Republican fear-mongering and therefore more likely to fall for all the conservative fear-based bullshit.

miasmo.com

A funny link, but (4.00 / 1)
He looked at more than four years of dreams reported by 56 college students around the US. Half of the participants were women, half men, half very conservative and half very liberal.

56 students for a sample size?  Do we feel good about that?  Seems small to me.

But with so few subjects Bulkeley admits the results could also be due to chance: "This is a study that needs to be filed under suggestive rather than definitive."

Bulkeley says the study was forced to be so small because he could only find 14 right-leaning males, while he was flooded with left-leaning females.

If nothing else, I've learned a good way to get flooded with left-leaning females.


Wait a minute... (0.00 / 0)
There aren't lesbian orgies of sweet nubile barely legal teens breaking out in bathrooms everywhere?  Are you saying Porn is LYING TO ME???/  SAY IT AIN'T SO CHRIS... SAY IT AIN'T SO... NOT THE PORN... NOT THE PORN...  

They killed the cat... (0.00 / 0)
That's pretty fucked up....  BORDERED on CRUELTY???

Stomach churning, ain't it? (0.00 / 0)
Things like that make me glad my big Siamese stays in the house.

Check out Blue Arkansas:
http://bluearkansas.blogspot.com/


[ Parent ]
Just don't let it (0.00 / 0)
go to church.

[ Parent ]
Yeah, that's REALLY fucked up. (0.00 / 0)


[ Parent ]
you took the words out of my mouth (4.00 / 1)
I'm pretty sure that is the definition of cruelty.

Killing a person's cat and feeding it to him.

Sick fucks.

No wonder Falwell was such a demented pervert.


[ Parent ]
Wouldn't you think... (0.00 / 0)
Wouldn't you think this would be in some Eli Roth horror movie rather than real life?

[ Parent ]
Fear (4.00 / 2)
A few years ago it occurred to me that conservatism was based almost entirely on fear.  Fear of change, in general, but the details vary.

Basically, they are cowards and He-Men who love to be the protector; two categories that need not be mutually exclusive.


The He man is overcompensation.... (4.00 / 1)
...hence the obsession and fetishization of firearms...

REID: Voting against us was never part of our arrangement!
SPECTER: I am altering the deal! Pray I don't alter it any further!
REID: This deal keeps getting worse all the time!


[ Parent ]
I don't know what's more delusional... (4.00 / 1)
...the prediction that Obama's going to lead to the destruction of America by jihadists or the prediction that OSU will slaughter the Trojans. :)

it's pretty scary to be a liberal too, though (4.00 / 5)
I live in constant fear that right-wing reactionaries will take over the government and start jailing and torturing people without any kind of legal - OH WAIT.

not everything worth doing is profitable. not everything profitable is worth doing.

They say there is a co-relation between fearfulness (0.00 / 0)
and buying an SUV, for example:  http://www.panix.com/~footage/...

I don't think it would be going out on a limb to include voting Republican in that constellation of neuroses.

Montani semper liberi


Seems like a lot of Fundies grew up in abusive homes.. (4.00 / 1)
At least Falwell didn't get beaten with his mother's girdle, like James Dobson did.

(As far as we know.)


perhaps not abusive (0.00 / 0)
So much as negligent or stern parents.  Authoritarian parenting leading to authoritarian emotionally stunted children.

[ Parent ]
How Conservatives view the world (4.00 / 1)


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