Paris Hilton At The Turn Of The Tide

by: Chris Bowers

Tue Aug 05, 2008 at 22:28


Gandalf:

And I come back to you now - at the turn of the tide.

To pile on Matt's post below, it appears McCain made a major miscalculation with his celebrity attack ad. Hilton's response is now the top story on Google News, and apparently the McCain campaign is receiving so many media requests about it, that they had to post a from response on their website. They have gotten into a spat with Paris Hilton, which there is basically no way to win. Hilton has nothing to lose, and the back and forth just highlights the frivolic idiocy of McCain's recent attacks.

It feels really weird to say it, but Paris Hilton kind of feels like Gandalf returning to Middle Earth, "at the turn of the tide." Her age-based attacks on McCain are even in line with Obama's new ad that opens with a line that could be interpreted as a shot at McCain's age. McCain is going to be on the defensive now, even though he started the attack in the first place. Obama's "proud to be ignorant" line is getting a lot of play, too.

Paris Hilton is playing a not insignificant role in the presidential election. Who'd have thunk it? Man, politics is weird.  

Chris Bowers :: Paris Hilton At The Turn Of The Tide

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Paris Hilton At The Turn Of The Tide | 48 comments
Paris Hilton and Gandalf (4.00 / 5)
is not a comparison I think I would ever have thought of, and I'm capable of some pretty crazy ones.
Then McCain must be Treebeard (2.00 / 2)
Since Gandalf is something like 5000 years old in the stories, if Paris Hilton is him, then McCain has to be someone even older.  Treebeard is supposed to be something like 7000 years old; he refers to Gandalf at the beginning of Return of the King (well, at least in the movie, don't know if it's in the book) as "Young Master Gandalf."
[ Parent ]
No, he's Saruman (4.00 / 7)
One who wears white, but in fact has turned toward power and evil secretly in his heart long ago.

[ Parent ]
Yeah, good call (4.00 / 3)
And that makes it easy to identify Joementum's role.
[ Parent ]
Gandalf is actually immortal. (4.00 / 3)
In the book, he's a sort of incarnation of Olorin, one of the Maiar (minor gods) who entered the world (Arda) at its creation.

If you're just going by time spent in Middle Earth (Endor), then Treebeard, who has been around since before the first sunrise, is much older than Gandalf.

If you're going by the movie, then Gandalf is just an old man, and you have nothing to go on as far as Treebeard's age goes.

(Sorry. When stuff like this comes up in conversation, my inner 14-year-old just has to speak out.)

[ Parent ]
Gandalf DOES die and come back to life in the movie, too (0.00 / 0)
which isn't exactly a trick that a mortal has in their repitoire
[ Parent ]
A Maiar (0.00 / 0)
as is the Balrog. I need to re-read the Silmarillion
[ Parent ]
I knew (4.00 / 2)
Where you were going with that without even clicking the link.

Tolkien said he wasn't writing allegory, but it's hard not to see it there despite that.

[ Parent ]
Weird thing is. (4.00 / 4)
After seeing McCain and his "Old Lady" at Sturgus today, I think Paris Hilton is actually much classier.
Gandalf (4.00 / 1)
Or Tolkien rather had some gems.  

"The treacherous are ever distrustful"
"...to crooked eyes truth may wear a wry face."

The "lot of play" link doesn't work n/t (0.00 / 0)

As much as I tend to hate her and her ilk... (4.00 / 8)
....you just don't fuck with Paris Hilton.

What did he think, she would be too busy to respond? Did he think she would just pass up a chance to be in the spotlight? Did he think her family, with its famous name, would just stand by while McCain trashed them?  

"Don't hate the media, become the media" -Jello Biafra

yeah (4.00 / 4)
If Mccain's people had any sense, they would realize that she literally had nothing else to do. She is famous only because people talk about her. They played right into her hands.  
[ Parent ]
and the other thing (4.00 / 2)
is that McCain basically picked on a young, pretty woman (whatever her fame.)  

New Jersey politics at Blue Jersey.
[ Parent ]
Live By The Trivia, Die By The Trivia (4.00 / 8)
It's more than a little funny that Paris Hilton's response ad could just be the definitive turning point in the campaign.  It is just so bad for McCain on so many levels.

"He's the oldest celebrity in the world"?  That line alone was enough.

First her mom calls McCain's ad "completely frivolous", and then Paris does this.

Well, poetic justice is about the only kind we've got left these days, but this alone seems to say we've got enough to get by.

"You know what they say -- those of us who fail history... doomed to repeat it in summer school." -- Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Season 6, Episode 3

showing the crypt keeper was enough for me to lmao. (4.00 / 2)


For some reason, it seems that Obama has some pathological and deep-seated psychological need for Republicans to like him.  Seriously.  It's weird.
[ Parent ]
Like I Said, Soooo Many Levels (4.00 / 4)
Every time the gray-hairs tangle with pop culture, they lose, because pop culture just doesn't quit.

This is definitive proof that McCain learned nothing from the fall of Communism.  He no doubt still thinks it was all Reagan's doing, and had nothing to do with jazz, Levis and rock 'n roll.

"You know what they say -- those of us who fail history... doomed to repeat it in summer school." -- Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Season 6, Episode 3

[ Parent ]
and these are the same kiddies that Obama needs to vote for him to win!!! (4.00 / 2)
McCain really fucked-up dragging her into it.  Lindsay Lohan would have been better because she's too busy in and out of rehab to have cared.

For some reason, it seems that Obama has some pathological and deep-seated psychological need for Republicans to like him.  Seriously.  It's weird.
[ Parent ]
Well, That Would Have Required More Intelligence Than He Has (4.00 / 1)
In both senses of the word.

WMDs, angry Arabs, Senate votes, celebrities, it's all just one big blur after a while. Who can tell any of them apart?

"You know what they say -- those of us who fail history... doomed to repeat it in summer school." -- Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Season 6, Episode 3

[ Parent ]
Yeah (0.00 / 0)
As someone over at dKos put it: Say what you want about Paris Hilton, she gets paid to go to parties.  Try arranging that for yourself sometime.
[ Parent ]
Not to mention that peristroika was horrible economic policy (0.00 / 0)

[ Parent ]
That Was Waaaay To Late In The Game (0.00 / 0)
We won the Cold War as soon as we left Vietnam.  If we hadn't invaded, we would have won the Cold War in 1968.

"You know what they say -- those of us who fail history... doomed to repeat it in summer school." -- Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Season 6, Episode 3
[ Parent ]
Why 1968 specifically? (0.00 / 0)
Sounds interesting.
[ Parent ]
Prague Spring (4.00 / 1)
If we hadn't been in Vietnam, it's quite possible that the worldwide wave of strikes, demonstrations and other political activism (reminiscent of 1848)--of which Checkoslovakia, France, the US and Mexico were most notable--would have had a much more profound impact behind the Iron Curtain.

Even if not, it's undoubtable that the US would have been in a far stronger position to support such activism--including that which did occur anyway--specitically, the Prague Spring, which was the one aspect of 1968 that involved a government itself,

Had we been in a position to fully support the Prague Spring, we might have been able to prevent the Soviets from invading and overhtrowing Dubcek.  Had Dubcek survived, that almost certainly would have ended the Cold War, not immeditately, but inevitably.

But morally, thanks to the Vietnam War, we were in no position whatsoever to act on behalf of freedom and self-determination.  Plus, we weren't even really paying attention.

"You know what they say -- those of us who fail history... doomed to repeat it in summer school." -- Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Season 6, Episode 3

[ Parent ]
Possibly, but... (0.00 / 0)
...it may also have played out like what happened with Hungary in '56, where the U.S. stood by helplessly as the Soviets rolled in.  Interesting counterfactual, though.  
[ Parent ]
We Weren't Prepared for Hungary 1956 (0.00 / 0)
But the Prague Spring unfolded over a period of many months, and was, as I pointed out, part of a world-wide phenomena.

Of course, no counterfactual can ever be argued with anything close to certainty.  But there defintely was an opening to end the Cold War in 1968, and the opening would have been much greater had we not been in Vietnam.  Whether that could have been enough, there is no way to tell.

But I just had Nate Silver run 10,000 simulation runs, and there's 5.38% chance that the Soviet Union goes democratic, while Mississippi, Alabam, George and South Carolina go fascist.

"You know what they say -- those of us who fail history... doomed to repeat it in summer school." -- Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Season 6, Episode 3

[ Parent ]
Hungary happened at the same time as Suez (0.00 / 0)
You can blame Britain and France for Hungary. Had we grown up and realised the dream of empire was over, the attention of the world would have remained focused on Hungary and there is every chance that the Soviets might have backed down in the face of united world pressure.

Forgotten Countries - a foreign policy-focused blog
[ Parent ]
Yes (0.00 / 0)
but there are proximate causes, and there are root causes.  The smarter conservatives try to say that Reagan's militarism was the main proximate cause, while Communist oppression is the root cause.  

Buts it still gets ignored how bad of an economic policy Perestroika was, and how it probably had more to do with why the Communist system collapsed in 1991, rather than, say in 2002 than Reagan's buildup ever did.

[ Parent ]
Oldest Celebrity in the World (4.00 / 6)
Adding to the poetic justice, this puts his age at the forefront without any way to claim Obama's campaign is somewhat responsible for playing the age card. Paris said everything the campaign couldn't, and leaves McCain in a box, for he can't pin responsibility on Obama (and thus find a way to be portrayed the victim of this series of event) nor can he escalate the debate with Paris (who relishes the media spotlight and has nothing to lose in this debate).

Even sweeter poetic justice still, now it is McCain who is associated with Paris Hilton, giving Sen. Obama the ability to frame the contrast as he did today - "Instead of running ads about Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, they should be talking to energy experts and make a difference" - thus making the choice between more GOP nonsense or common sense.

And now that McCain has responded to the Hilton ad saying Paris agrees with McCain's energy policy, could it not be called the McCain/Paris energy plan? Can Paris now be labeled McCain's energy advisor?

There is enough snark to last for days, and you can bet that John McCain's outrage that his clever ad bite back so hard will compel him to compound the error before it's all said and done.  

[ Parent ]
The Gift That Keeps On Giving (4.00 / 4)
Amen to all the above.

The only thing McCain has to be thankful for is that takes some attention away from his pimping out his wife at the Buffalo Chip beauty contest.

Or, come to think of it, does it just encourage whoever won that contest to seek her own 15 minutes of fame?

Once again, Paris Hilton could only win from that development, and McCain could only lose.

"You know what they say -- those of us who fail history... doomed to repeat it in summer school." -- Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Season 6, Episode 3

[ Parent ]
Buffalo Chip Mania (4.00 / 1)
does it just encourage whoever won that contest to seek her own 15 minutes of fame?

I would bet, in today's news world, she will be on all 3 morning shows before the Olympics begin Friday.

I believe we are just at the tip of the Buffalo Chip iceberg. I expect a reality TV series is in short order, along with accompanying movie (Coyote Ugly meets Striptease)  and chain of reasonably priced family restaurants with motorcycles lining the walls and  those world famous Buffalo Chip waitresses (Watch out Hooters!)  

[ Parent ]
What? No Video Game? (4.00 / 1)
Action figures?  Social networking site?  Simpson's episode? (With Troy McClure and Rainier Wolfcastle, of course!)

"You know what they say -- those of us who fail history... doomed to repeat it in summer school." -- Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Season 6, Episode 3
[ Parent ]
Who needs 527s? (0.00 / 0)
We'll always have Paris.

John McCain--He's not who you think he is.
[ Parent ]
Well (0.00 / 0)
its interesting as hell.

All day long I was thinking that the Obama advertising campaign wasn't interesting enough, and how we needed to bring back the 527's.

Well, this ad is interesting and it didn't come from the Obama campaign.  

The one thing no political candidate can survive is ridicule.  And McCain has just been roasted.

This may very well be a significant event in the campaign.

1.2 million views as of this writing.  And wait until people hear about it on the radio tomorrow morning, and get to the office and check it out....

This is going to be the definition of viral.

Agreed (0.00 / 0)
And this story has a big reach across media. This is an ad that will be seen/discussed from Hardball to TMZ, the Economist to Us Weekly. Or maybe more importantly in the digital age, it's an ad I would forward to pretty much anyone in my contacts. And probably will.  
[ Parent ]
Paris Hilton, Gandalf, etc... Why not?! (0.00 / 0)
I got a major kick out of your headline and use of Gandalf here...

Extra points for you when you're able to use one of my other favorite Gandalf lines from the novel:

"Fly, you fools!"

Hmmm... Not sure where that will fit in... Perhaps that can sort of be something we can say to the Republicans after we start kicking some ass during the Democratic convention... Or maybe Britney Spears will release a totally awesome video of her saying we should just "trust John McCain like I trusted Bush".

I suppose we never know. =)

the world of celebrities (4.00 / 1)
has become so important and powerful in our culture, that it's now butting up against the presumably far more powerful world of politics.

Absolutely surreal. The only thing that could possibly top this is if McCain showed up on an episode of American Gladiators to face off with Wolf in the Joust.

I really do want to see a McCain vs. Hilton debate. She would cream him.

(As an aside: why hasn't anyone pointed out that Paris Hilton can't run for president? She's under 35).

Because she's not really running... =) n/t (0.00 / 0)

[ Parent ]
but in this surreal culture, (0.00 / 0)
can we really be certain of that?
[ Parent ]
she'll probably get more votes (0.00 / 0)
 than mickey mouse.
[ Parent ]
As an aside... (4.00 / 1)
It appears that Obama's response on the tire gauge is having an effect too, as McCain has had to concede that he AGREES with Obama.

http://blogs.reuters.com/trail...

Yeah, think they're still going to be passing around those tire gauges with such glee?

How about an ad highlighting all the positions McCain has had to switch to Obama's viewpoint?  Ie, Iraq, tire gauge, and now soon (because of Paris Hilton), Obama's energy policy compromise.

The theme?  "Obama leads while McCain follows."

Yeah, I saw that climbdown as well (0.00 / 0)
Total, 100% capitulation.  Remarkably stupid stuff from McCain to have started a food fight over that specific point.  Now he looks dumb, for having brought it up in the first place, AND leaves a lot of frustrated supporters behind by totally hanging them out to dry.
[ Parent ]
I think... (4.00 / 2)
this whole situation SCREAMS for a South Park episode.

War is Peace; Freedom is Slavery; Ignorance is Strength; McCain/Palin 2008
Cheesheads Think Alike n/t (0.00 / 0)

[ Parent ]
Wow great video (0.00 / 0)
Paris delivered that policy section perfectly. She sounds lucid and smart, and seems to have an amazing sense of humor by prefacing it by pretending to be her stereotypical bimbo character. I think she not only just p0wned McCain, but her critics too.

I bet McCain enjoyed being called older than dirt to his face. Awesome. I hope Obama sends her a thank you card, she earned one.

Michael Bloomberg, prince of corporate welfare

My Dad Likes To Say (0.00 / 0)
That Paris is stupid like a fox, and while we laugh at her she's laughing all the way to the bank.  Looks like he was right; I'll have to tell him about this.
[ Parent ]
Not all blondes are stupid... (0.00 / 0)
I've seen Paris Hilton on the late-night talk shows and she's clearly not a dumb blond.  That's just male sexism.  Although there are exceptions, women don't get to be A-list celebrities without having at least average intelligence.
Though You Probably Still Could Drown Her (4.00 / 1)
By throwing a mirror into the swimming pool.
[ Parent ]
Paris Hilton At The Turn Of The Tide | 48 comments
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