A programming note: I'll be taking something of a leave of absence from OpenLeft. Between the exhaustion of a three-month book tour, and then this week's convention in my hometown (where I will be blogging at CAF and at In These Times), and then a vacation next week, I won't have time to be here on a consistent basis. Also, I'll admit it: The personal vitriol in the comments was psychologically overwhelming and prompted me to use this time to take a break.
I know, I know - in the machismo world of cyberspace, you aren't supposed to acknowledge that anything bothers you. But the intensity of the hatred expressed was, well, pretty intense. So, this is by no means an overwrought GBCW - I'll be back at some point (and there's a decent chance I won't really be able to stay for more than a few days!). But the convergence of a scheduling glut and a bit of feeding frenzy of personal attacks make this a perfect time to try to take a bit of a break.
It's funny what the Internet can do to one's psychology, and how it can skew one's perception of reality. I spent three months on the road, using a lot of my own limited personal resources to travel the country for book events that were simultaneous organizing and fundraising events for local groups. I was in front of big, and hugely supportive crowds almost every night for three months (including giving the keynote speech last night to 500 people at the Boulder County Dems' Truman dinner). It was one of the most gratifying experiences of my life - both because it contributed to the grassroots progressive cause, and because I could see the real-world implications of my work.
Yet, at times, I turn on the computer, and I'll be doing my thing in the progressive Netroots, working on sites that are supposed to be about the progressive movement, and I'll be the target of very personally directed anger and hate. Not ideological disagreements, mind you - but sheer, unvarnished personal hate. And it will lead me to forget the thousands of people who subscribe to my email list, the thousands more that I met this summer, and the thousands more that I work with through so many different groups. It's Saul Alinskyian in that a tiny minority of very loud people can have a huge impact - in this case, a negative one on my own psyche.
It's just strange to me - many media and political icons who ignore the Netroots remain the subject of cult worship in the Netroots, but lots of folks who are trying to straddle the media and blogospheric world end up getting just a whole wave of anger directed at them. It's like once the Establishment says you are a celebrity, the anti-Establishment Netroots basically says you are a god. But if you don't have that Establishment credential and are part of the Netroots yourself, you are trashed. I think it's just another expression of the more broad phenomenon of starfucker-ism - the culture worships celebrity, but is fine trashing its own.
To be sure, the hate is mostly from a very vocal minority - and in my desire not to let a tiny minority be more important than the supportive silent majority, I want to make extra clear that this break has a lot to do with sheer scheduling and fatigue.
Also, I want to let you know that I know I'm not faultless. Sometimes I screw up. Sometimes I'm thin-skinned. And I'm sure the comments in this entry will be filled up with more diatribes trashing all of my work and deeming me the next antichrist. But what really bothers me is the distrust.
There is no general, underlying assumption of good faith. That is, there is no assumption that someone like me is an ally. I've founded a major progressive organization from scratch (The Progressive States Network), worked on progressive campaigns (Schweitzer, Lamont, etc.), worked for progressive leaders (Bernie Sanders), and now eke out a living scratching and clawing to get progressive writing out as far and wide as possible (In These Times, nationally syndicated column, books, etc.) - all at a time when my wife and I are working hard to pay the bills for her social work degree (yes, a progressive writer and a social worker - we are really Big Money profiteers!). I do this, while engaging on a daily basis - often an hourly basis - with the Netroots - something that very few people in my business make an effort to do. Yet somehow, the assumption in parts of this community is that I (and others like me) am acting out of bad faith - that I am the enemy and am an evil profiteering "self-promoter" for trying to spread my work and the work of the broader movement - at a time when celebrities who never even engage with the Netroots or aren't especially progressive are idolized.
Maybe this is the same dynamic that happens in families - you know, like you won't yell at an acquaintance over some disagreement, but you will yell at your brother over the same argument. And for me, maybe this is why it hurts a lot more than, say, being yelled at by an acquaintance (or a Fox News host): because it's from family.
I tell myself that's what it is - but sometimes, I don't know. Sometimes I think it is a deeper level of hostility that comes from a movement that has a long history of tearing apart its allies when they have any modicum of success (and believe me, on the success-o-meter, I'm not very high at all).
Let me be clear: I'm not fishing for compliments in the comments section. That's not what this is about. And let me also be clear: I mostly let this stuff roll off - believe me, the road of selling out and saying fuck you to the progressive cause and the blogosphere would be a much easier, more lucrative way. So you have to roll with this stuff if you want to be in it. That said, I'm a human and it hurts. And so sometimes taking a break from the virtual world, so as to spend more time in the real world, is an important thing.
See you soon...I'm guessing in a few weeks or so, though maybe interspersed with something here and there until I get back on my usual posting schedule.
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