Mustache Warthog Palin Here!

by: Paul Rosenberg

Sat Sep 13, 2008 at 18:00


The Alaskan blog, Mudflats had a fun post last night, Palin Friday Frivolity! which was devoted to the question, "What would your name be if you were born to Todd and Sarah Palin?"

My name, as it turns out, would have been Mustache Warthog Palin--information provided by the Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator.

As Mudflats notes, the Palins have employed some rather odd naming conventions--more on that on the flip--and this site gives you the chance to enter their world, while still keeping your physical distance.

Now here's a game for you before jumping to the flip:  Match the Open Left founder with their Palin family name:

(1) Chris Bowers. (2) Matt Stoller. (3) Mike Lux.

(A) Rink Rebate Palin.
(B) Pick Beef Palin.
(C) Knife Pile Palin.  

Place your guesses in the comment section.  (No fair checking at the baby name site, only look up your own name, please!)
Paul Rosenberg :: Mustache Warthog Palin Here!
As Mudflats explains:

Once in a while, in the middle of all this insanity, we all just need to sit back and have a good laugh. I've been compulsively chuckling over this one for the last 10 minutes.

We know that Sarah and Todd Palin like to name their children with sports/Alaskan theme names.

Track, who was born in Track and Field season.

Bristol, after Bristol Bay.

Willow, after the town north of Wasilla, or the Willow Ptarmigan (Alaska State Bird).

Piper Indy, after the Piper Cub airplane, and the Polaris Indy snowmachine (snowmobile for you 'outsiders'). And an interesting quote from Palin has her saying Indy could also refer to "Independence".... Hmmm.

Trig Paxson, after the town of Paxson, north of Wasilla.

So haven't you ever wondered what your name would be if the fates had made Sarah and Todd Palin your parents? Now you can find out.

Naturally, my first response was, "What, no 'Moon Unit'?"

Well, seriously, "Bristol" and "Willow" are hardly odd. But "Track"? "Trig"? "Piper Indy"?

So my second response was to muse a bit.  Considering all the obsessive fixation the right has had with Barack Obama's name, isn't it just a weeee bit of an odd coincidence that McCain should pick a running mate who names her kids with the apparent intent of making "Barack Obama" seem almost normal by comparison?  "Barack," after all is fairly reassuring sort of name, if you're from the right culture.  Trig and Track, not so much.

In fact, if Barack Obama had been born to the Palins, his name would be Tarp Lazer Palin!

And Joe Biden?  Beans Harpoon Palin!

A few more:

Hillary Rodham Clinton: Dust Chinstrap Palin.
Dennis Kucinich: Guzzle Red Palin.
Darcy Bruner: Khaki Salmon Palin.
Barbara Lee: Fork Decoy Palin.
Michael Moore: Crust Scramble Palin.
Harry Potter: Chisel Dustup Palin.

You know, just reading over that list a couple of times, and nothing that comes out of her mouth seems particularly strange anymore.

Tags: , , (All Tags)
Print Friendly View Send As Email
Mustache Warthog Palin Here! | 53 comments
Paul- this is OT (4.00 / 2)
but this is what Obama needs to be doing and how that ad from this morning should have wrong:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

I think this is the most effective long ad- that can be reduced to as horter ad I've seen in quite a while. To the point, and brutal.

Is there anyway that Open LEft or the other A list bloggers can push this out there?  

So Tell Me Your Palin Family Name, Fool! (0.00 / 0)
Yes, it's a bit rough, but good.

Let me think about it.

"You know what they say -- those of us who fail history... doomed to repeat it in summer school." -- Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Season 6, Episode 3

[ Parent ]
Tobacco Field Palin (0.00 / 0)
The extra of not only being a good drag name , but also with all sorts of connations about industry lobby. The fact it happens to be where I grew up is also a plus.
[ Parent ]
That's So Good I'm Inclined To Think You Cheated! (0.00 / 0)
But, hey, we're all on the honor system here.

"You know what they say -- those of us who fail history... doomed to repeat it in summer school." -- Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Season 6, Episode 3
[ Parent ]
Paul I am deeply hurt that you would even think such a thing (0.00 / 0)

[ Parent ]
I Know. I Hang My Head In Shame To Admit It (0.00 / 0)
But... I just... couldn't tell a lie.

The thought just came to me, unbidden.

Hmmm. "Unbidden Thought Palin".  Could be.

Well, anyway, on the bright side, I just put up a diary with the video you suggested.  So maybe you can find it in your heart to forgive me after all.

"You know what they say -- those of us who fail history... doomed to repeat it in summer school." -- Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Season 6, Episode 3

[ Parent ]
Say hello to Commando Coalfire (4.00 / 4)
That's what my name came out as.  Isn't that kind of badass?  Certainly better than Rink Rebate...
Definitely! (0.00 / 0)
I bow to you sir, as my mustache scrapes the floor!

"You know what they say -- those of us who fail history... doomed to repeat it in summer school." -- Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Season 6, Episode 3
[ Parent ]
I envy you (4.00 / 2)
Mine came out as Hump Gizzards Palin.
[ Parent ]
Poor Thing! (0.00 / 0)
I gave you a "4," just to make you feel better.

"You know what they say -- those of us who fail history... doomed to repeat it in summer school." -- Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Season 6, Episode 3
[ Parent ]
I like it (4.00 / 1)
Thump Hummer Palin
I think John McCain's is the best one (0.00 / 0)
Steam Fangs Palin
Chisel Dustup Palin (0.00 / 0)
I like the sound of that, actually.

Join the Iowa progressive community at Bleeding Heartland.
wait a second! (0.00 / 0)
My name came out the same as Harry Potter's, and I didn't cheat or anything!

Join the Iowa progressive community at Bleeding Heartland.
[ Parent ]
Hmmmmm! (0.00 / 0)
Are you sure you're not Harry Potter?

Someone put you under a spell, maybe?

"You know what they say -- those of us who fail history... doomed to repeat it in summer school." -- Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Season 6, Episode 3

[ Parent ]
I've got you all beat (4.00 / 2)
Crunk Petrol Palin!
I'll see your "Crunk Petrol" and raise you (4.00 / 4)
Creation Schwarzkopf Palin Here! I win!!!
Crunk Petrol rocks, but...
[ Parent ]
"Creation" is definitely apropos (4.00 / 3)
Since obviously no Palin offspring is going to have "Evolution" as part of their name.
[ Parent ]
Package Wichita... (0.00 / 0)
Strangely enough, each one alone would be an...intriguing...first name.

But together?  Don't think so... ;-)

Wrangler Tractor Palin (4.00 / 1)
That's pretty damn good.  

We need to figure out the combination that gives you Wrangler Package.  

In fact, Package in almost any combination is amazing.  Does "Richard Bruce" --> "Petrol Package"?

The next Palin kid is going to ... (4.00 / 2)
...be Tweaker. Trust me.
My own generated name wasn't so .. (4.00 / 2)
...great, but my wife's came out Fire Patriot Palin, which had enough entendres to keep us entertained for a few minutes.
[ Parent ]
My husband's was (0.00 / 0)
Halter Grasshopper
[ Parent ]
Halter Grasshopper Palin (0.00 / 0)
Sounds almost like a minor character in a Philip K. Dick book.

"You know what they say -- those of us who fail history... doomed to repeat it in summer school." -- Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Season 6, Episode 3
[ Parent ]
Damned If My Name Doesn't Sound Downright Dignified (4.00 / 1)
After hearing from you all.

Maybe I take after some long-lost great grand uncle, or something.

"You know what they say -- those of us who fail history... doomed to repeat it in summer school." -- Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Season 6, Episode 3

Weird... (0.00 / 0)
With my first and middle names I am Clop Clutch Palin...

But with my first and last names I'm Pistol Tanker Palin!

My grandmother always said I was a pistol... I'll take it!

I Think This Just Shows Quantum Mechanics At Work (0.00 / 0)
It's like the double-slit experiment. The names you get out aren't related to the names put in a direct 1-to-1 particle-like way.  There's an intervening wave function involved.  The name you type in produces a wave function. It passes through the double slits, and the interference pattersn on the other side determine what the resulting names are.

Or better yet, the names are the slits.  

Damn, it looks like I need a little tune-up back at the metaphor factory.

"You know what they say -- those of us who fail history... doomed to repeat it in summer school." -- Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Season 6, Episode 3

[ Parent ]
Jeep Pike Palin (0.00 / 0)
And that's strangely prescient since I have driven a jeep for 13 years.
Pistol Tanker, (0.00 / 0)
meet Revolver Trooper Palin.

As for the matching quiz:

1. A, 2. C, 3. B

Wow! (0.00 / 0)
So far, you're the winner!

But that's just because no one else has responded yet.

And here I was expecting to get all sorts of smart remarks.

"You know what they say -- those of us who fail history... doomed to repeat it in summer school." -- Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Season 6, Episode 3

[ Parent ]
Ugh, don't care for mine (0.00 / 0)
Luger Otter (first, last names) and Shaver Razorback if I include middle name. Kinda sharp, that second one!

My children's names come out with Nixon for one, Revolver for another and for middle child, Puck Mule, which puts her most decidedly into the Palin family tree! Yikes!

Every Hockey Mom Needs A Puck Mule! (0.00 / 0)
You'll be the envy of eveyone on your block!

"You know what they say -- those of us who fail history... doomed to repeat it in summer school." -- Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Season 6, Episode 3
[ Parent ]
I'm Puck Mule Too n/t (0.00 / 0)
[ Parent ]
Froth Moonshine Palin, here (0.00 / 0)
My wife's is Clamp Noodle Palin...

Boy, ain't that the truth. ;)

Hey! (0.00 / 0)
I'm Clamp Noodle Palin too!
[ Parent ]
gak (4.00 / 1)
Beans Harpoon Palin.  

(seriously though, the horrible harpooning of baby beans is nothing to laugh about)

drat (4.00 / 3)
and now everybody knows that...

sisterfish = Joe Biden.

I guess my cover is blown.  

[ Parent ]
Is it depressing that we're (0.00 / 0)
spending our Saturday night doing this?  Just asking...
Hey (0.00 / 0)
I also got "Dust Chinstrap." What's up with that?

Montani semper liberi
Just A Sinister Plot (0.00 / 0)
to make us think there's less of us than there really are.

Try using a middle name and see what you get.

"You know what they say -- those of us who fail history... doomed to repeat it in summer school." -- Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Season 6, Episode 3

[ Parent ]
I thought anothergreenbus was redneck enough (0.00 / 0)
From:
   Strike Chipper Palin: aka anothergreenbus
   Rot Pipeline Palin: aka the Missus
   Ladel Torque Palin: aka the Wee One
By the way, (0.00 / 0)
You are all now on the no fly list.

George Bush = Open Aircraft Palin  

[ Parent ]
Who is "Darcy Bruner"? (nm) (0.00 / 0)


On The Road To 2008: Commentary on issues as we countdown to the next opportunity to change the direction of America
Devastating story about Palin in NYT (0.00 / 0)
"Once Elected, Palin Hired Friends and Lashed Foes"
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09...

Yes, it's the same old cronyism and disrespect for law and democracy that made Bush infamous. Only with lipstick this time, of course. A must read!  

Rope Hoover reporting for duty! (0.00 / 0)
Who do I fire? What book do I ban? What should I cover up? Who do I shakedown? Who should I harass? And, most of all, what should I lie about?
What's going on with Alaska? (0.00 / 0)
I was doing some more reviews of Shelly Whitstine's (Syrin's Blog) reviews of Sarah Palin's career this morning because I wanted to make sure she was not just someone who the Alaskan governor had screwed in the past and was now trying to even the score. I don't think she falls into that category. She ties in with groups of bloggers and writers, both Republican and Democrat, conservative and liberal, who are amazed that someone with Palin's inexperience and certain underhanded actions in their state would be nominated for VP.

One that she refers to is AKMuckraker, whose Mudflats blog I have referred to before. In his piece this morning he talks about a rally in Anchorage of "women against Palin" whose rally outnumbered Palin's homecoming rally. One good thing about AKMuckraker is that he is also a photographer and backs things up with visuals (I've included 3 at my site). Here's part of his comment on the event:

Never, have I seen anything like it in my 17 and a half years living in Anchorage.  The organizers had someone walk the rally with a counter, and they clicked off well over 1400 people (not including the 90 counter-demonstrators).  This was the biggest political rally ever, in the history of the state.  I was absolutely stunned.  The second most amazing thing is how many people honked and gave the thumbs up as they drove by.  And even those that didn't honk looked wide-eyed and awe-struck at the huge crowd that was growing by the minute.  This just doesn't happen here.

Then, the infamous Eddie Burke (note: long-time uber-conservative Anchorage talk show host) showed up.  He tried to talk to the media, and was instantly surrounded by a group of 20 people who started shouting O-BA-MA so loud he couldn't be heard.  Then passing cars started honking in a rhythmic pattern of 3, like the Obama chant, while the crowd cheered, hooted and waved their signs high.

Whitstine (Syrin) also lists 30 or so other legitimate commentators, both local and national, giving an amazing overall profile on Palin which we are not getting from the McCain campaign. This is worth reading if you have not made up your mind, or even if you have. It is best to know more than less about a candidate, and Palin is someone most of us know so little about now.

Under The LobsterScope

Ed Schultz radio show in Anchorage to be aired Monday (0.00 / 0)
His website doesn't confirm it, but I think the three-hour Town Hall he held on Saturday 9/13/08 will be aired on September 15 on your local Air America station, also on XM Satellite Radio.

Ed was really hepped up about going North, and listening to the residents' opinions of their Guv. I'm going to arrange my schedule so that I can listen.

People so inclined may subscribe to Ed's podcasts, and I'd imagine this will be available in that form.

[ Parent ]
Confirmation (0.00 / 0)
Website announces it for Monday: Who Is Sarah Palin?
[ Parent ]
AKMucker Is A Woman (0.00 / 0)
From Philip Munger @ Progressive Alaska, also reporting on the rally:

I'll post more pictures later, at my myspace site.  Meanwhile, AK Muckraker has posted pictures she took while infiltrating the GOP Sarah rally this morning. A very controlled, event. Her pictures remind me of a mega-church rally, except it is for Sarah, instead of Jesus... [Emphasis added.]

Also, Progressive Alaska has an impressive blogroll of "Progressive Alaskan Blogs", that I've barely begun to explore, and an ongoing series, "Saradise Lost," that's up to more than 50 chapters already.  Much of it is following events as they unfold, and adding information from a local perspective.  But sometimes that means adding a good deal, as in "Saradise Lost - Chapter Fifty-Two -- Palmer Pastor's Gay-Positive Book was on Mayor Palin's Censor List"

"You know what they say -- those of us who fail history... doomed to repeat it in summer school." -- Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Season 6, Episode 3

[ Parent ]
T r (0.00 / 0)
All male Palin kids have a first name starting with T followed by an r.  Maybe it is code for Todd, Jr.  In that case, likely names for a male are Trek, Trick, Troll, and True.  Trip, too.

Girls names usually contain something about Alaka (Piper, Bristol) but sound normal. Thus handles like Kodiak, Klondike, and Cod are not going to make it.  Juno may be mispelled but it would be a good one.  So would Aurora (as in Aurora Borealis or Northern Lights). Palmer, another town near(?) Wasilla would be OK. Ruby, a stop on the Iditarod, is fine.  Galena, another Iditarod stop, is pushing it.

It must be a local tradition.  One of the former Iditarod champs names his children after race stops so why not Bristol and Piper.

So, in honor of the series, I'd be Trek Palin.  

That Wouldn't Be STAR Trek Palin, Now Would It? (0.00 / 0)
Just askin'.

"You know what they say -- those of us who fail history... doomed to repeat it in summer school." -- Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Season 6, Episode 3
[ Parent ]
Oh yes (0.00 / 0)
Star Trek, it is.  One character that would NOT be used, of course, is Data.  Can't come close to Data around this group of Republicans.  They just ignore it.
[ Parent ]
There Are, However, Very Much Into Lore (0.00 / 0)
You've gotta hand it to Roddenberry, he was a man of many levels.

"You know what they say -- those of us who fail history... doomed to repeat it in summer school." -- Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Season 6, Episode 3
[ Parent ]
Mustache Warthog Palin Here! | 53 comments
Donate to Open Left







QUICK HITS

Friends of the Earth thanks the OpenLeft community for the ideas you generate and your contributions to the progressive movement.
As an anti-spam measure, there is a 24-hour waiting period after registering before new users can comment.
blog advertising is good for you
blog advertising is good for you
LIBERAL INSTITUTIONS
STATE BLOGS
SEARCH

   

Advanced Search

Home | RSS/XML Feed | Register | Contact

  © OpenLeft 2007-2009, Powered by SoapBlox