A Message From John McCain

by: Chris Bowers

Wed Sep 24, 2008 at 20:28

"I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further."--Darth Vader John McCain

Hey you--University of Mississippi, news networks and debate commission! The debate is off. I don't care if you spent a year scheduling these debates. I don't care if you poured over $5 million into preparing for the debate. It's off, damn it. We will debate where I want, when I want, and when I am ready.

Hey you--federal government! Move over and let me take charge of the bailout negotiations. I don't care who you are and how long you have been negotiating-everyone in D.C. needs to stop what they are doing, throw it away, and start from scratch while you listen only to me. Senate Majority Leader? Screw you, let me in. Speaker of the House? Get bent--this is my show. White House? Ram it-but leave room for me. Everyone in D.C. needs to drop what they are doing, and start listening to me.

Hey you--Barack Obama! Stop campaigning! No, stop now. I said stop now, damn it! Every minute you campaign moves you further ahead in the polls. Stop it! I command you to stop!

And you, media. You will report on what I want you to report on. You will do so in the tone that I demand, and with the words that I demand. And if I cancel an interview on a moment's notice, you better not complain about it. Failure to comply will result in losing your position at the front of the plane, being personally attacked in conference calls, and no more of your unfettered access to Sarah Palin. First demand: stop covering Sarah Palin. You are only there to take photographs and share in our outrage over how mentioning her name is a sexist attack.

In the future, no one-and I mean no one--should do anything at all until I tell them to. And, even if I tell you to do something, be prepared to stop doing it in the likely event that I change my mind, and tell you to do something else instead. For starters, everyone better make sure to elect me President, so that my insane, last minute demands at least have a faint whiff of legality about them. Imagine when my crazy whims actually have Constitutional authority behind them! Those will be fun times.

Chris Bowers :: A Message From John McCain

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Does that mean Obama is Lando Calrissian? (0.00 / 0)

Jesus Chris (0.00 / 0)
You're killing me. Who knew you two harbored so much unrequited snark?

I wonder what would have been the response (4.00 / 1)
if McCain had ordered his campaign suspended on "Black Monday" (or whatever the Hell they're calling it now) when the markets tanked and Paulson rode in to town with his pre-planned, last minute plan to save the universe?

Would he have possibly changed the dynamics of the race?  Knocked Obama way off balance?  Shown him to be aware of the economy instead of blissfully "the fundamentals are sound" ignorant?

Anyway, its too late now.  All his lying and whining and bitching about the press has made the bed he now is finding uncomfortable for sleeping in.

Whine on, baby, whine on!

Bet Rick Davis is happy about this (0.00 / 0)
I have a feeling the bad news about him and Fannie/Freddie contributed to the McCain desperation TIME OUT strategy.

They're gonna have to fire him.

Just saw 5 minutes of the Couric interview of Palin (0.00 / 0)
Man, Palin was SO nervous.  So incredibly nervous, speaking in such vague generalities and truisms.

It really did remind me of that 1st Quayle debate.  Just fundamentally unprepared.

You have to see it - I can't even begin to imagine something happening to McCain (bad enough McCain being elected of course) and this fundamentally un-prepared, un-engaged with the issues of the day, being President.


Wow (0.00 / 0)
only a maverick could write a post that snarky!

"I think the economic logic behind dumping a load of toxic waste in the lowest wage country is impeccable and we should face up to that."
-Lawrence Summers

Hmm.... (0.00 / 0)
Suspended his campaign, pulled his ads and canceled the debate? Has McCain conceded?  

"Don't hate the media, become the media" -Jello Biafra

Coming up... (0.00 / 0)
John Mcain,Barack Obama

You can read more of JD Ryan at five before chaos, but why would you want to?


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